Online dating can sometimes have detrimental results.

Take Manti Te’o, Notre Dame’s star linebacker who has been at the center of a high-profile online dating scandal. His “girlfriend,” with whom he had an online relationship, allegedly died of leukemia. This news made Te’o’s story front and center during a time when college football players would give their right arm to become “the” media darling.

The details of this story have many trying to determine whether Te’o was the victim of a twisted “catfishing” scandal or if he was behind the whole thing.
 
In its simplest terms, catfishing is when a person pretends to be someone else using a social media platform like Twitter or Facebook. Typically, the person creates false online identities, particularly to pursue deceptive online romances. Catfishers can create pretty extensive online personas to create legitimacy around their existence.

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Hemanshu (Hemu) Nigam is an online safety, security, and privacy expert and CEO of SSP Blue, an online security consultancy. He is also a frequent contributor to CNN, HLN, Fox News Channel, Fox Business Network, CBS, HLNTV.com, and abcnews.com.  To sign up for SSP Blue’s Weekly News & Info, please click here, like us on Facebook, and follow us on Twitter.  See also Hemu’s personal site.

The recent dramatic confusion around Manti Te’o’s online love life and it’s just as heart wrenching conclusion has left many online daters wondering how to date safely online if such a public figure as Te’o was allegedly duped.  It’s tough enough to find love in the real world with all your friends and family trying to hook you up.  How does one find that true love by using the great power of the Internet without ending up the joke of the town or in utter depression from all the falsity that might arise?

Though much of what happens online mirrors reality, meeting someone in cyber space is significantly different than meeting someone in person. In the real world, your dating “site” is made up of friends, coworkers, family and acquaintances – people you are already familiar with.  Even though a dating network of “real” people doesn’t guarantee a great relationship to come and might even lead to a bad date, having that personal and human connection is critical.  Seeing the whites of their eyes might be a cliché but it is a cliché because it remains relevant.

In the real world, you might meet potential dates at parties or bars, and often go out on group or double dates. Meeting online you are in the unfortunate position of not having enough information to determine whether you should trust the information you have.  Can you trust that the picture really is of that person, that the person is even real to begin with and that all the person’s information and communications are legitimate?  And yet even without that immediate sense we get when looking into the whites of someone’s eyes, we can still find love safely online.

Here are a few tips to make your experience as real as the online world will allow:

1. Google, Google, Google – today we all leave digital footprints.  Take the information your online friend has given you and ‘Google’ it.  The less you find, the more worried you ought to be.
2. Watch out for the sad story that starts to develop as an excuse on why he or she cannot meet you in person — one of the more common scams is perpetrated by a lovely “woman” with a gorgeous photo looking for a new love in America.  Her story is a sad one: no family to speak of, a big heart, a desire to see the man she meets online. Eventually, this “woman” will ask for money, perhaps to help with a ticket or because she has been detained trying to leave her home country. The man will wire her money and “she” will disappear. This is disheartening, heartbreaking, and all too frequent.
3. Treat an online friend like a stranger until you have actually met in person – meet in a public place, preferably a well-lit place that is familiar to you in an area you are comfortable with.  While these suggestions strongly apply to women, men would do well to take note as well. Predators and scammers are not limited to males so everyone needs to exercise care.
4. Fall in love online slowly – con artists tend to fall in love dramatically and quickly so they can reach their real goals quickly.  Just like in the real world, online relationships need to develop gradually over time.  So until the first earthly encounter occurs, be cautious.
5. Go with your gut – just like in the real world, if your gut tells you something is wrong, believe it and go with it.

Engaging in safe dating online in some ways is no different than dating safely in person.  But, because you can’t see the white’s of ‘his’ eyes online, your own eyes and ears must navigate the online world slowly and cautiously.

Much love to you.

Some of you may have turkey on your mind, while others think past the feast and on to the online shopping.  Deals like “free Apple iPad if you click here” or “check out this site for 50% off all designer watches” sound too good to be true.  In fact, these deals are too good to be true.

The arrival of the shopping season brings more chances for consumers to fall prey to Internet shopping scams and cybercrime.  A record number of Americans plan to shop online this holiday season.   According to the National Retail Holiday (NRH) Consumer Spending Survey, 51.8 percent of consumers expect to utilize the Internet to purchase gifts and other holiday-related items this year.  In fact, the survey suggests that the average shopper expects to conduct nearly 40 percent of their holiday purchases on retail and company websites.  With cybercrime steadily increasing, consumers need to incorporate caution into buying decisions as they usher in the holiday spending season.

The world of Internet shopping offers vast possibilities to busy Americans looking for quick purchasing options.  According to NRH, comparative shopping options also represent a key portion of the Internet retail market.  As more Americans turn to the Internet for purchasing choices, hackers and thieves await greater gains through cybercrime.  A new study by Norton indicates that cybercrime claims 18 adult victims every second.  This means that over 1.5 million cybercrime victims are added to the digital misconduct list daily with losses averaging US $197 per victim globally.

With the shopping season preparing to enter full swing, cybercriminals target consumers with an array of Cyber Monday schemes, including fraudulent retail email promotions containing viruses, malware and hijacking mechanisms designed to spam victim contacts.  Other related schemes include phishing scams designed to lure consumers to fraudulent websites, inauthentic promotional offers and malicious posts on social media websites that encourage users to download videos containing harmful content.

Consumers and businesses share responsibility for making thoughtful decisions to help minimize cybercrime.  By implementing a few Internet safety procedures before shopping this weekend, buyers may avoid some common security risks.  For example, all Internet users should confirm the legitimacy of URL addresses and research the company through the Better Business Bureau before providing financial information.  Researching recent scams online may also reduce consumer Internet fraud, as cons receive considerable attention in chat rooms.  Finally, payment protection options, including PayPal, and security services, such as BillGuard, may assist consumers in keeping personal and financial information secure this buying season.  These few cyber security steps help make the difference between a contented buying experience and a lousy one.

Be sure to keep your wallets safe and your identities protected this holiday season.  For more tips on how to shop safely online, visit www.tcdailyplanet.net/blog/dan-hendrickson/bbb-advice-wired-shoppers-cyber-monday.

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